'Twas the night before Christmas at Alcatraz jail. Every person in sight was a sex-deprived male. The pinups were hung in the cells with great care, But, attention was turned to the prospects right there.
The inmates were nestled all snug in their beds, All inmates, except for the monstrous "Big Ed" He in his pinstripes and me on my bunk, He appeared to have on him an elephant trunk.
When at my cell door, there arose such a sound, I heard Big Ed's voice: "turn around, turn around" To the back of the cell, I cowered in fear, He said "I got your Oscar trophy - right here!"
"Warden!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, While Big Ed reached his hand through the wrought iron rungs. When what to my astonished eyes should occur, But another big inmate, dressed up like Ben Hur.
They paired off together, to do what they do. But I knew they'd be back before my time was through.
