'Twas the Night Before Christmas |
| 'Twas the night before Xmas in an old New York slum, Not a creature was stirring ~ not even Old Joe the bum... Those argyle socks on the fireplace flue, Were awaitin' Ol' Santa-reenie Claus-o-rooney, Hoo Hoo!! My Tomato and I were catchin' some z's, (Spare me the q's on my chick, if you please!) We were under the lily whites, with the radio playin', A slow riff by Pres...you dig what I'm sayin'?! When out in the alley there came such a racket, I grabbed me my skypiece and gray mohair jacket, Put on my boots and grabbed both my blades, And to be on the safe side, I put on my shades! Out the window I slid to the fire escape, I pulled out my switchblade, expectin' a scrape. When silhouetted against the 9th Avenue El, I saw what I thought was a vision from hell! This cat in a taxi without any rubber, Wearing loud crimson threads over one ton of blubber! These eight way-out reindeer were really alreet, And he sounded off loud to a boogie woogie beat... "Go Basie, go Lester, go Duke, and go Smack!"... "Jive on Lunceford, and Dizzy, and Pine Top and Jack"! "Send me to where I need to be at, To the top of that pad, you diggin' me cat?!!!" He flew over my head at a low altitude, That fat lil' hepcat in a way mellow mood, And those eight far out reindeer sportin' a two-tone hoof, Did a quick lindy spin and made the scene on my roof. I went back in quick, but this cat was much quicker, He was there in my kitchen chair, drinkin' my liquor! I took off my sky-piece and was scratchin' my pate, When he looked up at me and then said "Greetings, Gate!" He had these gray peepers and a mug like a moose, His conk was all red like a freight train caboose! He had big ivory crumb-crushers, all in a grin, And some righteous white face-feathers covered his chin! He was short as Chick Webb, maybe half an inch taller... But this cat was three times as fat as Fats Waller! He copped me a smile and said to me, "Jack, You OK, that's good hooch, don't mind me, I'll be back!" Then he filled up my argyles as quick as can be, And he left a few boxes under my tree! Then he paused in the chimney and looked at my flask, I said "keep it, Pops! It's the least I can ask!" He said, "Well, SOLID, Jack! You've been a REAL good gator!" "And that main queen of yours, she's one hot termater!" "When you open those boxes, you'll find some real gone sides," And I slid you some extra drumsticks for your hides!" I said "Thanks, Pops, you're a righteous old pooch!" And with that I gave him the rest of my hooch! He trucked up the chimney shoutin' "Well, alreet!" This hepcat done gave me some real liquid heat!" Then he sang to his reindeer, "Gone, Daddy, Gone..." Merry Christmas to all, Jive on, Jive on!!!! |
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