A Letter from Santa

My hands were all shaky,
My face had go pale.
A letter from Santa,
Just arrived in the mail!

It was hand written,
In old-fashioned ink pen.
It was handsomely printed,
And dated twelve ten.

"Dear Calvin," it said.
"I'm writing because
this year I've repealed
my `Naughty/Nice' laws.

So now I urge you:
Be vulgar and crude!
I LIKE it when children
are borish and rude!

Burp at the table!
Gargle your Peas!
Never say `Thank you',
`You're Welcome', or `Please'.

Talk back to you Mother!
Don't do as you're told!
Stick your tongue out at
your Dad if he scolds!

Drive everyone crazy,
I don't really care!
Act like a jerk,
Anytime, Anywhere!

I'm changing the rule!
The BAD girls and boys
will be, from now on,
the ones who get toys!

Good kids make me sick,
it's no joke!
Sincerely, signed Santa."
....And then I awoke.

I hate being good,
(or trying to fake it).
Six days until Christmas!
I don't think I'll make it.

... I'm just tryin' to have some fun!