'Twas the night before finals, and all through college, not a student was studying, no need for knowledge; The papers were written on computers with hate, 'Cause the twenty page paper was three weeks late;
The students were in taverns, drinking Killian's Red, Drowning their sorrows cause they soon would be dead; Me and my girl just went to my car, To get away from the bitching in that damn bar;
When out on the road, I heard something smash, I drove over to see, 'cause I like a good crash; By the college antenna, We saw such a sight, We both couldn't look, it gave us a fright;
The blood dripped slowly on the new fallen snow, What happened here, we did not know; When, what to our wondering eyes did appear, A mangled fat man, and eight twisted reindeer;
Looking at the fat man made us both sick, But upon closer examination, it was St. Nick; He struggled some to get to his feet, Only to slip on some reindeer meat;
"Oh, Dasher! Oh, Dancer! Oh, Prancer and Vixen! Oh, Comet! oh Cupid! Oh, Doner and Blitzen! We shouldn't have hit that antenna's light, I told you to go left, but no you went right."
We went to St. Nick who was in bad shape, We had no bandages, but we had duct tape; My girlfriend the nursing student, started to mend, But the bleeding kept coming, it just wouldn't end;
"There's no hope for this guy.", we started to say, "I'll get my gun and blow him away." I went to my trunk and got my revolver, It was a six round, given by my father;
As I drew it in my hand, and turned around, My girlfriend with tape, his body she bound; He begged and pleaded, crying and such, I had to shoot, this was too much;
I looked right in his eyes and saw his fear, He said, "Take my sack, but don't kill me here." Even though this sounded all so insane, I had to shoot him and take his pain;
I put my piece right to his head, He knew soon, he would be dead; He said, "You bastard, after all I have done." I pulled the trigger, in his brain I put one;
Santa's body shook all violent and fast, So I spent my rounds to the last; He was chubby and plump, a right jolly elf, But now he's dead, I killed him myself;
While I was shooting, my girlfriend did go, To Santa's bag, tied with a bow; She went through it without any care, I reloaded my gun, so she decided to share;
Santa had gifts for all college kids, It surprised our eyes, we opened our lids; Cliff notes, cheat sheets, and answers for A's, Our heads were spinning, we were in a daze;
We will pass our classes, our tests we'll lick, Because of an accident, and killing St. Nick.
