The Night Before Christmas |
| 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and things were still cool, Not a Dane had done damage, just slobber and drool; The tree had been hung from its normal safe place, Third star to the right, way off in deep space, Our buddies were comfy, all sprawled on the bed, While visions of marrow bones danced through their head, And Maria in nightie, and I, not much more, were inundated quickly with a stereo snore, When out in the yard there was barely a peep, The Boys jumped from the bed, no longer asleep, I put on my bathrobe and said, "what's the matter?", They were obviously excited, their teeth all a-chatter, The lamp near the house with its yellowish tint, Gave Hamlet and Spock their first real big hint, Each boy was alert and up on his toes, When Spock barked at Hamlet, "Hey Look! What are those?" "Well, that one's a Biped, although rather Rotund, But those 8 other creatures, they sure look like fun, They've got things on their head and Look! A red nose, I think that's a fault? And will you look at their toes!", I stared out the window in absolute glee, "Maria, get up. Come see what I see!", But she was in REM, and I knew right away, Those eyes would stay closed for at least half the day, I ran to the staircase, the Danes at my heels, Their excitement mounting at my childish squeals, We raced down the stairs, to the back door we flew, My last words to the dogs, "Okay guys, no chew!", I opened the door and off ran the boys, Anxious to check out what could be new toys, But the reindeer just huddled, deep in the thicket, And lo and behold...each carried a picket! I walked to the sleigh, and there sat St. Nick, Jolly he ain't, in fact, he looked sick, "Santa, what's wrong? You look down and depressed", "I am", he said sadly, and began to undress, "My evening is over, a bit prematurely, So pardon the fact that I'm feeling quite surly", I looked at the reindeer and said, "What's up with that?", St. Nick let out a sigh and then took off his hat, "The deer are on strike, a sad but true fact, They refuse to go on without a new pact, Their contract expired as we passed by your house, So it looks like the Mrs won't be getting that blouse", Santa was glum, on his face, resignation, "I told my attorney, 'Don't mess with deer nation', But listen he didn't, now tradition's on hold, I think I'll retire. After all, I'm quite old." I looked at the reindeer, then back at Kriss Kringle, When all of a sudden, I started to tingle, "I have an idea which should bring back your cheer, You can finish the job with the help of Dane-deer!" "You mean, these stately creatures can actually fly? They'll get me and my sleigh back up in the sky?" "Well, given the circumstances, it's sure worth a shot, I'll go make some phone calls. Come in where it's hot." In a matter of moments, the calls had gone out, The Dane-deer arrived, all hearty and stout, Harnessed in place, they barked "We'll save the day!", All except Spock, who lay sprawled on the sleigh, "Now Hamlet, now Duchess, now Drummer, and Sasha!, On Simba, on Cookie, on Buster, and Pasha!!, To the top of the roof, to the top of the stack, And you there Spock, get your nose OUT of that sack!", In the dark of that Eve, they became a bright glow, And the last thing I heard was a faint, "HoHoHo", But soon, they were gone, vanished from sight, so I sat by the tree and thought, "Wow, what a night!" My eyelids were heavy and my breathing was deep, And soon, not surprisingly, I'd fallen asleep, I awoke to the slurp of a long, wet, cold tongue, "Hamlet, you're back! Did you have tons of fun?" Santa unharnassed the Danes one by one, "I can't remember having such fun!, The evening went off without worry or glitch, But that's no surprise. The lead Dane was a bitch." |
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