'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, The family was stoned, and so was the mouse. I was at home and mom was in jail, I had just settled down to a nice piece of tail.
When out of the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my woman to see what was the matter. I ran to the window and jumped down to the grass, Tripped over a pot plant and busted my ass.
Then what to my bloodshot eyes did appear, A rusty old sleigh and eight horny deer. The little old driver pulled out his dick, I knew right away it was old St. Prick.
I heard his cuss as he hit the wall, Faster you bastards or I'll cut off your balls. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew right away the asshole had fell.
He filled the stockings with some joints and a beer, And big rubber dick for the family queer. I heard him shout as he flew out of sight, Fuck you all.......it's been one hell of a night!
