(Night Before Christmas Total Rekall 2070 version)
'Twas the night before Christmas as the C.P.B. (Citizen Protection Bureau to you and me) Hume was suspecting a duff sublimator As he and Farve trawled through files of data
To find out why a client of Rekall got fried, The role of the sublimator hotly denied: A suspect soft implant, a renegade chip, Pirated hardware or black market porn disks?
Olan Chang was dissecting the corpse in lab quarters, Ehrenthal fended off Rekall's top lawyers, The miners on Mars were preparing to strike, And drug-enhanced courtesans strolled through the night.
As an Alpha with powers still largely unknown, Farve was unique and felt very alone, And though an unparalleled investigator, Still he had not tracked down his own maker.
"Hume, this is most strange and most unexpected, Look at the anomalies I have detected ...." But then came a call of a very strange sighting, That made the two men react like greased lightning.
"A craft in the sky? Minacon shuttle?" asked Farve, "No, not a Mars shuttle, it was nothing that large ... It looked more like a sled," the puzzled Hume said, "Drawn by a team of 8 horned quadrupeds ...
...The driver was said to be male, red-garbed." "You'd better get onto it," growled Ehrenthal, "Tomorrow's a holiday and I need a break, So check out the intrusion, whatever it takes."
"I'll go check the files for data," said Farve, "A sled with a driver done up in red garb? The quadrupeds - reindeer? Extinct for some years ... The man - did he have white hair and a beard?
There's a 1900s earth legend which makes little sense, An old guy who visits each home with presents, Rides in a sled pulled by eight of those creatures, There is no mistake, he has distinctive features."
"But Santa Claus is a myth; reindeer cannot fly, Or haul overloaded sleds through the sky," Olan Chang told him, fresh from the post mortem, "But back in the twentieth, he seemed quite important."
" So he's simply fictitious, just imagination, Something you might see on a sublimator" Said Hume to his partner who stared at him hard. "Unless he's a Sandroid," posited Farve.
"So did Rekall create him? Or a big corporation? Uber Braun maybe, or even your maker?" Ehrenthal asked them, not willing to tangle With Rekall's top lawyers (especially Nagle!),
"Or maybe this Sandroid is a special creation, To bring gifts and goodwill to our technophile nation, Should we impound him, android reindeer and sled - Or let him deliver his presents instead?"
They decided at length, Santa should not be arrested, And the Sandroid flew over them, quite unmolested, Other androids switched off, spent the night offline, asleep, Dreaming their visions of electric sleep,
And Olivia dreamt festive dreams in her sublimator, Immersed in old legends of an old guy called Santa, While over the C.P.B. the Sandroid flew out of sight: "To you all - Seasons Greetings - and Recall a Good Night"
