'Twas the night before Solstice and all through the village, There were no celebrations, not even a light pillage; Joxer was nestled elsewhere in his bed, While heroic visions danced through his head.
Xena and Gabrielle were trying to buy dinner, But twixt the pair of them they had but five Dinars, That paltry sum, if they haggled with care, Would buy them no more than the simplest fare.
Then more rapid than Argo, a thief came a-sneak, He stole Xena's Chakrum and her anger was piqued, She finally discovered it hung on an tree, At an orphanage where the children started to plead:
"Most are just orphans and some here are sick, But tomorrow on Solstice Day we'll all be evicted, We have no possessions and have little to eat, But the King wants us turned out to starve in the street!
There'll be no Happy Solstice for us orphans this year, If the King has us thrown out," they said, shedding tears, And the very next moment, the doors flew open wide, And all the King's soldiers came stomping inside.
They were dressed up as heavies, grim helms on their heads, Told the kids to vacate by midnight or end up dead; So in less than an eye-blink, Xena spun round, She flipped up for her Chakrum and came down with a bound.
She did a few back flips, as so often she does, And laid into those soldiers without further fuss, No matter how many, they could not withstand, The power of Xena when she fought hand-to-hand.
"We're just doing our jobs," the soldiers protested, "So keep out of the way and you won't be molested, The King wants these vermin evicted from here," His voice sounded mean, but his eyes shone with fear.
Xena's eyes twinkled! Her expression was scary! Her mind was made up, there was no time to tarry! She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, Quickly pounded all the soldiers; then turned with a jerk.
Gabrielle knew straight away that Xena had to determine; Why Solstice was banned, and the King there was vermin. So sweet Gabrielle went in search of disguises, And instead returned with Tobias, a jackass full of surprises.
Xena was not amused that Gab spent all their cash, But soon snagged an old guy with keys to the king's stash, She dressed up in old sheets and did her utmost, To make the king think he was haunted by ghosts.
First Solstice Past came to visit and haunt him, Then Solstice Present arrived there to taunt him, At then, when the King was all sulky and glum, He was due for a visit from Solstice-Yet-To-Come."
With spooks from the past, the king was deceived, And admitted his Queen had walked out on him one Solstice Eve, She'd broken his heart, made him cruel and more mean, After leaving that night in the midst of a scene.
The old guy with the keys was short with a round belly, That shook when he laughed and made him look merry, His name - Sintacleese - he greatly wanted to help, But was scared of the King and was a coward himself;
Despite his day-job as the king's tax collector, He was hiding some secrets, the two women suspected, Gab soon discovered he was stockpiling toys; To scared to share them with the village girls and boys.
Toys made of wood that you pulled with a string, And little carved birds that flapped their wood wings, Hoops and small trinkets, they were packed in a sack, He'd made them as gifts, but courage he lacked.
Gabrielle gave him a lecture, used her persuasive powers, 'Til Sintacleese realized that he was a big coward; Back at the orphanage, it was almost midnight, Xena took the King there, showed him things were not right.
The soldiers showed up to throw the poor orphans out, But with Xena in wait, the battle to turned into a rout, As Xena and children took up battle stations, Down the chimney came Sintacleese armed with his creations.
With wood hoops and toy swords the bloodshed was slight, But there was plenty of shouting and Xena had a good fight; She defeated the soldiers and the King was aghast, To find the orphanage mistress was his Queen from years past.
He promised to reform himself if only she'd stay, Then midnight was past and it was Solstice Day; The nasty old king, he'd learnt a hard lesson, And back on the road, Xena gave Gab a present.
While on the road the pair met a young man, Traveling with his wife who was nine months pregnant, So, full of good cheer at the things that had passed, They gave them Tobias the donkey, to carry the lass
To get to the village as soon as were able, And there to find shelter in tavern or stable. Before Xena and Gabrielle had gone very far, Up in the heavens they saw a bright shining star,
And they'd hardly gone further on that road when they, Met some shepherds and wise men who asked them the way, "What's that all about?" Gab asked. Xena just shrugged, Her mind more intent on seeking out thugs.
The twosome exclaimed, as they vanished from sight, "Happy Solstice to all, and to all a good-night."
